Supporting Parents of Terminally Ill Children
Working With Hospitalized, Frequently Absent Students and Parents
Jun 29, 2009
A teacher of a student who is dying may experience many harrowing emotions. One of these will be helplessness, as she wonders just what her role should be. Due to the nature of childhood terminal illnesses, parents will most likely be exhausted, often discouraged, and even cut off from their family and friends as they deal with the inevitable day to day emergencies.
There are many ways in which teachers can support a child who is not well. Classroom stories, role-playing activities, and regular written and oral communication with parents of the terminally ill child and with the families of all other classmates are ideas for teachers to show they care. Young children in the classroom will require a role model too, as they may not as yet faced a serious illness before, or the concept of death.
Preparing Classmates for Absence of Ill Child
Talk to parents of the terminally ill child in order to gather the information on planned absences and hospitalizations. Ask them if it would be okay to discuss the child’s illness with other classmates and their parents. If it is, find storybooks on the particulars of the disease and/or extended hospital stays and read these to the children.
If the afflicted student will need to undergo a surgical or therapeutic procedure, mimic these in the classroom using pretend doctor kits in a role-playing activity. Young children learn and will develop a better understanding by hands-on play, and as long as this type of activity is acceptable to parents, it will help classmates develop empathy for the child who is unwell.
It may also be possible to have a doctor or nurse visit the classroom as a special guest in order to explain what the ill child can expect while at the hospital.
Communicating With Parents of Terminally Ill Children
Determine what mode of communication will be best for parents of the terminally ill child. Communicating by telephone on a weekly basis, or by email may be appropriate depending on the wishes of the parents. Know when and how long the child will be absent, and record the return dates. When the child is expected to return to the classroom, teachers should be aware of any special needs or requirements of the student.
While the ill child is absent, send parents periodic updates on classroom happenings. Explain what students are learning, and note the assignments that have been given during class time or for homework. Pictures of classmates, projects, and the students at work are also nice to include in the communication packet, along with copies of any forms, newsletters, or notices.
Support From Classmates and Their Families
Encourage classmates and friends to create cards, pictures, and letters to send to the child who is sick or hospitalized. These can be done individually or in groups as a classroom arts and crafts activity. Have them offer positive words of encouragement such as “I miss you”, or “We can’t wait to see you again”.
Also, talk to other parents of students in the classroom and ask them to contact or even visit the family at the hospital if all parties are willing. Since it is often the case that parents must stay at the hospital with their ill children for extended periods, siblings may need care. Arrange for parents of classmates to offer their support by babysitting a brother or sister, or providing meals to the family of the terminally ill child.
Teachers with terminally ill students can offer much in the way of support and care to parents. Each afflicted child may have different needs, but all will require support and encouragement from their teachers and classmates. Parents of a child who is dying will also greatly appreciate the kind gestures of sympathy and any additional help as they go through this devastating time.
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